Anticipation..

Well... it's May 10th and I'm 3 months in and things are getting pretty intense. Planning for a new baby is a very stressful process. Especially when the 'arrival' date is very unexpected.

Originally I figured I would take my time, I have 9 months to enjoy the prospects of being an expecting mother, however, that expecting date may just have been shortened to 6 months.. Well, no big deal.. right? Haaa... not so much.

I jumped the gun a little bit when I actually went to visit the breeder. I didn't know what I was expecting, but I certainly didn't expect to be as overwhelmed as I was. I was determined to stick to my goal, and wait the full 9 months, therefore, I made a full 9 month plan so I began the plan on Saturday April 28th, 2012.

I had a list of prospective breeds and a list of breeders close by I wanted to visit. However, due to sanitary reasons, it's not suggested to visit more than one breeder any given day. So I had a few appointments I was waiting to hear back from. The first one I received was from a woman named Mary who was very responsive to my emails and messages and managed to answer all my questions so I made the appointment. Mary run's a large property on the outskirts of King City north of Toronto which breeds both Golden Retriever's and Basset Hounds. Basset Hounds just happen to be my #1 choice on my list of potential breeds:

1 - Basset Hound
2 - (English) Cocker Spanial
3 - Shar Pei
4 - Dalmation
5 - Pug or English Bulldog

Even though I hadn't set my list in stone, I decided to go with my gut on this one. I took my cheque book....

The drive was about an hour or so, and it was a lovely, warm spring day. I probably couldn't have picked a better day actually. Unfortunately I had attended a wild soca rager the night before so my head wasn't exactly in the right spot, but surprising enough, liquid advil's work at an astonishing rate even when you wake up in a miscellaneous hotel room 4 steps away from your front door (don't ask)...

In an effort to look 'presentable' for my breeder appointment I managed to throw myself together and look like one of those gangly messy celebrity mug shots with a caption that would likely say something along the lines of... "Demi Moore after a workout" As the idea of going to a breeder often implies that, not only will I be scoping out the place to suit my needs, but the breeder would also be scoping me out as well. An adoption interview... if you will?

The pressures of motherhood began to sink in. Since I already have a baby at home, he requires no responsibility, he's essentially a teenager that just learned how to drive and I barely see him anyways.. So needless to say I felt a little pressure, especially with the weighing guilt I would have for attending a party I had attended the night before, WITH a baby at home... ouch..

Well, all the guilt, the headaches, the pressure disappeared when we rolled up to the property. Nestled on a small secluded country road, a large sign "Golden Asset Kennels" welcomed us along a long winding driveway rocky driveway as we pulled it. It was so charming I wanted to jump out of the car and enjoy the country side.

Along with the main house, only a few meters away, a smaller 'garage' type building stood, that was fairly new (later confirmed just built) with a laberyth of chain link fences surrounding it. Out of the grass and trees came running 7 or 8 stubby legged, floppy eared, little balls of fur and wrinkles, howling and drooling their way to where we were standing.

Words can't describe it but I fell in love almost instantly and of course.... I took photo's.. since posting photo's is what all the kids are doing.. I'll post:

The final photo is Miss. Annie who is the mother-to-be.

I don't think I need to elaborate any more on this story. The facility was immaculate, the people were lovely, warm and welcoming, the dogs were extraordinary and loveable and I've never written a cheque so fast in my life.

So now I remain on the waiting list, hoping to get one of Annie's litter's that were due May 2nd. I haven't heard anything yet from the breeder on the health of the puppies or the mother but I anticipate word shortly.

HAPPY!!!!!

Stay fabulous
- jennarae

I'm... expecting...

Sooo... I realized I wrote a bunch of miscellaneous stuff on here that I didn't publish. Most of it I deleted, but some of it I published. Anyways, I'm going to try not to make that  mistake again! HA HA!

A VERY common trend I've noticed with, I'd say, about 85-90% of my friends is that they're all settling down, getting married, having children, buying houses/car's.. etc. and I'm not going to lie I feel a little left out. With me turning 26, I made a decision that I'm going to do something important with my life this year so I started thinking about my options.

I don't know if I'm old enough to be making such big decisions about my life but, not having children is something I've 99% decided I will never do. For several reasons. I may be almost 26, but I don't feel over 15. I have an inability to plan ahead (which makes me a terrible money-saver), I still depend on my parents, and I tend to make quick rash irresponsible decisions at the last minute. All of which are characteristics I need to grow out of before I ever/if ever, decide to start a family.

Regardless, I feel like I'm missing the thrill of the child-bearing experience. The attention, the mindless chatter with strangers about baby talk, the life change, as well as the intangible encouragement to get your life together. The very idea that there's going to be someone else that will depend on you for the next 18 years (in my case 26 years) is pretty intense. I think people take parenthood for granted sometimes, especially in this day and age, and I'm not going to be one of those 'mothers'.

With that being said.. I've made a decision..

With my financial life slowing coming together,  and my social life becoming less impromptu and more 'sophisticated' and 'under control' I feel like if I gave myself a bit more time I too, could be expecting an addition to the family.

HAHA! Before anyone gets crazy, everyone who knows me longer than 6 minutes knows how much I hate children, and I have yet to justify it, I just do. I've actually pinpointed that rooms full of children drive my anxiety up the wall more than I even realized at first. ALSO, anyone who knows me longer than 2 minutes knows that Bean's is my whole world, and well.. my animals are my children.

Weeelllllllll I'll cut to the chase, I'm THINKING about buying a puppy. I'm giving myself 9 or so months, to baby-proof my house, my finances, and my life in general, to prepare for my new addition. Personally, having a puppy is a much larger responsibility than having a child. I've had animals all my life, and I understand the responsibility, that's why I'm giving myself 9 months to make a decision.. (if not longer!)

The idea of treating it like, '9 months until the baby comes', to some, might be the cries of a lonely woman, but it makes the wait time more exciting! I have a lot of things I want to do, things I need to learn, and things I need to deal with until the addition comes, and it makes it so real. I also work better under pressure so I think it'll be a good motivator for me.

I've found a city I love, full of people I love, and a job I enjoy. I still have a lot of thinking to do, and who knows, in a month or two I could be totally changing my mind about all this, but that's why I'm giving myself 9 months :o) (it's a little more forgiving than a real pregnancy but it's still exciting to me).

Call me crazy.... cause that's what I am...

Stay fabulous.
- Jenna.

Tea Time in February

People always think there's something about turning 25 that makes you put life into perspective. I disagree. 25 didn't phase me. I think maybe the winter months scare me a little more than the summer months so my actual birthday gets lost in the craziness of the Canadian summer, so I suppose it didn't have the impact that it should have.

Now that I'm turning 26, things feel different.. I can't really explain why. Maybe I feel a bit pressured to make bigger decisions for myself, to do bigger things, or even.. dare I say it... feel bigger things? I've never been one to sit down and say "today I need to find myself" or aspire to "learn something new" or "snuggle up with a good book" which are things I enjoy doing, but I don't think it defines me as a person. With that being said, what kind of person am I? Maybe I'll know when I turn 26.

There's something very unique about me I think I'm going to share with the world this year. I haven't figured it out yet, but it's going to be big.. not just for the people in my life who know me best, but most importantly, for myself.

Stay Fabulous,
- Jenna

Another New Year

I know people tend to make these overwhelmingly obscene new years eve resolutions and over indulge themselves on trying to take that one "good first step forward"... and frankly... it's kind of annoying. With that being said, I purposely took the first week of January as a write-off. The gym is a perfect example of this. It's like the first year of University. Everyone punctually attends their classes wide-eyed and ready to learn (or ready to work out, lose weight), but by week 2 and 3... the sparkle and new-ness has faded and people continue on with mundane little lives feeling like they've accomplished something and they'll "try again next year." The point I'm trying to make here is that, like the street's on the first year of University, the gym is a nightmare the first week of January...

This year I didn't take that approach. Like I said, I wrote the whole first week of January off. Don't get me wrong, my job did weigh me down a bit so I didn't exactly get to "relax" ... I mean.. everyone has to catch up from the holidays right? However, I did make some interesting resolutions that I haven't been able to iron out the details for, but that's why the year is so long right?

Some old habit's will need to die, hard... and some even older habit's will have to kick it into high gear this year. When and where that will take place, I haven't decided. Maybe I should aspire to be a bit more organized with my goals? But then again, 'formal goals' freak me out.

I'll have to do it without Anca this year. Which makes me really sad. I justified my sadness though. She's only in Korea for a year, and she's doing a wonderful thing for herself. So it makes me happy. Every day I hear from her is exciting. It's like watching a really good TV series and you can't wait for next week's episode! I think it'll be a good year for us.

It's a little far fetched at this point, but I've aspired to travel this year. I didn't last year and it drove me up the walls. I enjoy my little life I've made here, my little friends, my little apartment, my little adventures, but sometimes you need to go big and crazy. I was hoping my travel plan's would be set in place a lot sooner rather than later, but this might turn out to be a next "fall" thing at the rate I'm going.

Regardless, it's week 2 of the new year and I still feel pretty good. Which puts me ahead of about 80% of the population who probably gave up after the first week. Well my gym was pretty empty yesterday so it just goes to show ya.....


Stay Fabulous xo
Jenna